“The sub is in control” — actually, this isn’t true and consent culture needs better words
CONTENT NOTE: This post discusses BDSM and violence against women.
BDSM
An open letter to my pro-porn friend: ethic impossible?
Dear Amy, Very near the end of our conversation you asked me what I think of porn. You asked me
An open letter to my pro-porn friend: ethic impossible? Read Post »
Moonlight, Sex in the arts
When we don’t explain the Trinity, the gospel gets ugly (especially for wives)
Last week, I met up with a good friend, also a blogger, whose areas of interest overlap with mine particularly
When we don’t explain the Trinity, the gospel gets ugly (especially for wives) Read Post »
Firelight, The church and exclusion, The church and hopeHolding someone by the throat: abusive strangulation or consensual play?
Following the allegations against Eric Schneiderman, I saw a cluster of articles a couple of weeks ago revolving around the
Holding someone by the throat: abusive strangulation or consensual play? Read Post »
BDSM, Moonlight
I dated Christian Grey… and I don’t care to see him again (guest post)
With the launch of Fifty Shades Darker in cinemas, this guest post is just as relevant as it was when
I dated Christian Grey… and I don’t care to see him again (guest post) Read Post »
#churchtoo, 50 Shades, Abuse dynamics, BDSM, FirelightThe Suffering Servant vs Ana: Choice, commitment and consent (part 4)
He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the
The Suffering Servant vs Ana: Choice, commitment and consent (part 4) Read Post »
Redemption and Fifty ShadesBeast vs Christian Grey: The dark art of grooming
This Valentine’s DayForget the pastAnd slip into somethingA shade darker— Fifty Shades Darker – Official Trailer 1 (Universal Pictures) I’m
Beast vs Christian Grey: The dark art of grooming Read Post »
Redemption and Fifty ShadesBeast vs Christian: The Curse of plot-serving entitlement
“I don’t have nightmares when you’re with me.”— Christian, Fifty Shades Darker, p234 Living in a state of death Redemption
Beast vs Christian: The Curse of plot-serving entitlement Read Post »
Redemption and Fifty ShadesBeast vs Christian: The Fall that brings guilt and shame
“You’re a good man, Christian, a really good man. Don’t ever doubt that.”— Ana, Fifty Shades Darker, p195 The moment
Beast vs Christian: The Fall that brings guilt and shame Read Post »
Redemption and Fifty Shades10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 3)
“It’s not abuse, it’s BDSM.” Well, BDSM-ers disagree. This post is the third of three that lists some of the ways a
10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 3) Read Post »
50 Shades, BDSM, Moonlight10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 2)
“It’s not abuse, it’s BDSM.” *sigh* This post is the second of three that lists some of the ways a rant I
10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 2) Read Post »
50 Shades, BDSM, Moonlight10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 1)
One of the biggest myths spoken about 50 Shades of Grey is “It’s not abuse, it’s BDSM.” I recently read
10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 1) Read Post »
50 Shades, BDSM, MoonlightCoercion in BDSM negotiation is the road to “command rape”. A rant. (guest post)
This guest post is about abuse within the BDSM scene, particularly what the author calls “command rape”. It’s not a piece
Coercion in BDSM negotiation is the road to “command rape”. A rant. (guest post) Read Post »
BDSM, MoonlightWhy do I write about the Fifty Shades trilogy?
It was just gone midday on the 21st January 2015. The previous evening I’d decided that it was worth doing a blog
Why do I write about the Fifty Shades trilogy? Read Post »
50 Shades, Moonlight, My bloggingWhy do I write about BDSM?
BDSM stands for: Bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. I want to get something straight right at
Why do I write about BDSM? Read Post »
BDSM, Moonlight, My bloggingAbout the “steamy action” in 50-Shades-the-film
OK, I want to throw my two cents in when it comes to the portrayal of sex in the film of
About the “steamy action” in 50-Shades-the-film Read Post »
50 Shades, Moonlight
What’s bad about “the worst” six slaps?
At the end of 50 Shades of Grey, Ana asks Christian for the “worst” punishment. He hits her six times and stops. Was this bad or indeed the “worst”?
What’s bad about “the worst” six slaps? Read Post »
50 Shades, BDSM, Moonlight7 essential facts about consent (guest post)
This piece of writing is a fantastic one-stop-shop about what consent really looks like. The BDSM-er who wrote it intended it more as a
7 essential facts about consent (guest post) Read Post »
BDSM, MoonlightWhy do people say 50 Shades is (or isn’t) abusive?
I’m getting various search hits with people asking why 50 Shades is abusive, so I thought I would try and summarise the
Why do people say 50 Shades is (or isn’t) abusive? Read Post »
50 Shades, MoonlightTo all newbie subs exploring BDSM: beware sub-frenzy (guest post)
When I think of women getting all excited about the idea of finding their personal dominant Christian Grey, I think of
To all newbie subs exploring BDSM: beware sub-frenzy (guest post) Read Post »
BDSM, Moonlight
Newbie submissive-types – this is what you REALLY need to know in BDSM (guest post)
This is essential reading for the would-be Ana’s out there who are curious about BDSM (and for anyone looking to be
Newbie submissive-types – this is what you REALLY need to know in BDSM (guest post) Read Post »
BDSM, Moonlight