I’m a Christian, a feminist and a person who’s positive about sex.
I blog about hope, sexuality and consent.
And I am a critic of Fifty Shades of Grey.
I blog about ambiguous and awkward areas of life, where the lines aren’t always clear and some of the issues are taboo. It’s not always comfortable reading, but all of it is offered to help you work your grey matter for yourself. The story behind the picture above is here.
Thank you for visiting.
Sex worth celebrating
These posts are about sex itself and what good looks like. The most popular posts are:
- To the evangelical couple considering sex therapy
- The key to lifelong sex? Get the right advice.
- Sex and consent: everything I didn’t know when I married
- Is the One True Love biblical? On hope, choice and responsibility
I write mainly about gender equality, but obviously gender isn’t the only dividing line. The most popular posts here are:
- When we don’t explain the Trinity, the gospel gets ugly (especially for wives)
- To stay or to go? On church, LGBT+ affirmation, and uncomfortable places
- Modesty 101: modesty is not about clothes, rather glory and context
- Books of 2017: Titles of interest to egalitarian Christians
Perspective on purity
Depending on who you talk to, “purity” is either a wonderful word to describe a high concept, or a toxic word used to oppress people (most often women).
For myself, I believe that purity, when properly understood, is a good thing, but that ‘purity culture’ is a form of gender based violence. I also have a few ideas about what purity is really meant to be about – and my thinking and theology are still forming.
The most popular post in this section is:
- Rethinking virginity: yes, it is about purity, but it’s not like a silk scarf
- Priestesses in the church? Why CS Lewis’ argument was right, but his conclusion wrong
These books are a problem. Even if this section isn’t for you, you might want to read Why do I write about 50 Shades?
The most popular posts in this section are:
- I dated Christian Grey… and I don’t care to see him again
- Why do people say 50 Shades is (or isn’t) abusive?
- What’s bad about “the worst” six slaps?
Well, it’s hard to write about Fifty Shades without writing about BDSM. Even if this section isn’t for you, you might want to read Why do I write about BDSM? The posts here are primarily to help people recognise abuse (and some are written by people in the scene).
- How 50 Shades reflects real-life abuse in BDSM (part 1)
- A message to S-Types – What you REALLY need to know
- Holding someone by the throat: abusive strangulation or consensual play?
I love digging into the Bible and thinking about God. The most popular posts in this section are:
- Esther in the Bible: surprisingly political
- Be a priest in 2017: Identify with those who are like and unlike you
I have various issues with evangelicalism as it currently manifests in the US and, to a lesser extent, in the UK. The most popular posts in this section are:
- 45 reasons why the culture behind #ChurchToo fails to understand consent
- An open letter to Nate Sparks on leaving evangelicalism
- Gary Thomas’ claim that Christians should have more children is unbiblical
Water for the soul
OK, posts in this section don’t tend to get many hits – but those who find them, love them. In particular:
- How do I handle non-responses on social media? Yeah, not great.
- The friend who was always there: on faithfulness, creativity and being me
- Music, perfection and play: shedding childhood shame
- My greatest regrets are when I was trying to be someone I’m not
I love to write. You’ll find poetry, sketches and short stories here.
- His name is John: Elizabeth writes to Mary
- Love vs Abuse: two Bible stories you’ve not heard like this
Redemption: Beautiful love or beastly suffering?
These posts take an in-depth look at how redemption is portrayed in Beauty and the Beast and then makes comparisons with Fifty Shades. They’ve been grouped on their own because there are quite a few of them and because they touch on all three of the themes that I blog about. The series ended up being eighteen posts long, so you might want to start with A summary of how redemption in BATB compares with 50 Shades.