Welcome to my blog.

I’m a Christian, a feminist and a person who’s positive about sex.

I blog about:

  • Hope, commitment and purity
  • Sexuality, and how we frame sex
  • Consent, abuse and BDSM

And I am a critic of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Manga image of grey woman holding staff of Aaron with light showing her blue eyes
Extract from artwork created by Siku (@theartofsiku, www.TheArtOfSiku.com).

I write as both a Christian and a feminist, but also with a listening ear to the sex-positive community.

I’m not afraid to touch on topics that are awkward, taboo, or just downright unpleasant to read about. So to help you navigate my posts, I put them in three categories — dip into whichever works for you:

  • Sunlight: uncontroversial content for egalitarian Christians, focussing mostly on how things should be
  • Firelight: patriarchy, where things go wrong, and questions over evangelical shibboleths
  • Moonlight: the more serious forms of gender violence and topics like BDSM or erotica

Oh, you’ll also find Starlight content, which are my reflections on theology and life.

The story behind the picture above is here.

Thank you for visiting.


Sunlight: Sex worth celebrating

Wedding fascinators with the text "Advice on erotic excitement is often like saying a play will evoke greater anticipation if it has fancier costumes. Sure, that can open up possibilities, but it doesn't make theatre."

These posts are about sex itself and what good looks like. The most popular posts are:

Index page: Sex worth celebrating
Categories: Sex, Relationships, Consent


Sunlight: Egalitarian living

The most popular posts here are:

Index page: Towards equality
Categories: Equality, AmReading, Consent


Sunlight: Hope worth sharing

All Shall Be Well outside Norwich Cathedral

Dear Christians: non-conformity is not the path to transformation

Index page: Water for the soul


Firelight: Ending VAWG

Looking at problems of patriarchy and where things go wrong.

Most popular posts here are:

Index page: Ending VAWG


Firelight: Perspective on purity

White wedding shoes with the words Pure and Precious written on the inside

Depending on who you talk to, “purity” is either a wonderful word to describe a high concept, or a toxic word used to oppress people (most often women).

For myself, I believe that purity, when properly understood, is a good thing, but that ‘purity culture’ is a form of gender based violence.

The most popular posts in this section are:

Index page: Perspective on purity
Categories: Purity, Equality


Firelight: Irritant to evangelicalism

Many of the issues I currently have with evangelicalism come down to, what I believe, is a faulty theology of hope. These posts aim to break down some of the false shibboleths that I see stifling hope and inclusion.

The most popular posts in this section are:

Index page: Irritating evangelicalism
Categories: EvangelicalismBible


Moonlight: 50 Shades (is abuse)

Protest banner against 50 Shades "Not consent, not redemption, not a fairy-tale" with quotes from Fifty Shades Darker

These books are a problem. Even if this section isn’t for you, you might want to read Why do I write about 50 Shades?

The most popular posts in this section are:

Index page: 50 Shades
Categories: 50 Shades


Moonlight: BDSM

Well, it’s hard to write about Fifty Shades without writing about BDSM. Even if this section isn’t for you, you might want to read Why do I write about BDSM? The posts here are primarily to help people recognise abuse (and some are written by people in the scene).

Index page: BDSM
Categories: BDSM, Consent


Starlight: Delving theology

Old English Bible open at Isaiah

I love digging into the Bible and thinking about God. The most popular posts in this section are:

Index page: Delving theology
Categories: Bible, AmReading


Starlight: My tapestry of time

OK, posts in this section don’t tend to get many hits – but those who find them, love them. In particular:

Index page: My tapestry of time
Categories: Thoughts


Starlight: Creative works

I love to write. You’ll find poetry, sketches and short stories here.

Index page: Creative works
Categories: AmWriting, Poetry, Stories, Theatre


Redemption: Beautiful love or beastly suffering?

Books of the Fifty Shades trilogy with a DVD of Beauty and the Beast
I bought the special edition DVD when I was living in Germany.

These posts take an in-depth look at how redemption is portrayed in Beauty and the Beast and then makes comparisons with Fifty Shades. They’ve been grouped on their own because there are quite a few of them and because they touch on all three of the themes that I blog about. The series ended up being eighteen posts long, so you might want to start with A summary of how redemption in BATB compares with 50 Shades.

Index page: Fifty Shades compared with Beauty & the Beast
Categories: Redemption and Fifty Shades