“The sub is in control” — actually, this isn’t true and consent culture needs better words
CONTENT NOTE: This post discusses BDSM and violence against women.
BDSM
Why submission in the comp/egal debate is actually about boundaries (and warrants comparison with kink)
Complementarians, egalitarians and kinksters are three groups of people who all frequently talk about submission in the context of a
Holding someone by the throat: abusive strangulation or consensual play?
Following the allegations against Eric Schneiderman, I saw a cluster of articles a couple of weeks ago revolving around the
Holding someone by the throat: abusive strangulation or consensual play? Read Post »
BDSM, Moonlight
I dated Christian Grey… and I don’t care to see him again (guest post)
With the launch of Fifty Shades Darker in cinemas, this guest post is just as relevant as it was when
I dated Christian Grey… and I don’t care to see him again (guest post) Read Post »
#churchtoo, 50 Shades, Abuse dynamics, BDSM, Firelight10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 3)
“It’s not abuse, it’s BDSM.” Well, BDSM-ers disagree. This post is the third of three that lists some of the ways a
10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 3) Read Post »
50 Shades, BDSM, Moonlight10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 2)
“It’s not abuse, it’s BDSM.” *sigh* This post is the second of three that lists some of the ways a rant I
10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 2) Read Post »
50 Shades, BDSM, Moonlight10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 1)
One of the biggest myths spoken about 50 Shades of Grey is “It’s not abuse, it’s BDSM.” I recently read
10 ways 50 Shades is like real-life abuse, not BDSM (part 1) Read Post »
50 Shades, BDSM, MoonlightCoercion in BDSM negotiation is the road to “command rape”. A rant. (guest post)
This guest post is about abuse within the BDSM scene, particularly what the author calls “command rape”. It’s not a piece
Coercion in BDSM negotiation is the road to “command rape”. A rant. (guest post) Read Post »
BDSM, MoonlightWhy do I write about BDSM?
BDSM stands for: Bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. I want to get something straight right at
Why do I write about BDSM? Read Post »
BDSM, Moonlight, My blogging
What’s bad about “the worst” six slaps?
At the end of 50 Shades of Grey, Ana asks Christian for the “worst” punishment. He hits her six times and stops. Was this bad or indeed the “worst”?
What’s bad about “the worst” six slaps? Read Post »
50 Shades, BDSM, Moonlight7 essential facts about consent (guest post)
This piece of writing is a fantastic one-stop-shop about what consent really looks like. The BDSM-er who wrote it intended it more as a
7 essential facts about consent (guest post) Read Post »
BDSM, MoonlightTo all newbie subs exploring BDSM: beware sub-frenzy (guest post)
When I think of women getting all excited about the idea of finding their personal dominant Christian Grey, I think of
To all newbie subs exploring BDSM: beware sub-frenzy (guest post) Read Post »
BDSM, Moonlight
Newbie submissive-types – this is what you REALLY need to know in BDSM (guest post)
This is essential reading for the would-be Ana’s out there who are curious about BDSM (and for anyone looking to be
Newbie submissive-types – this is what you REALLY need to know in BDSM (guest post) Read Post »
BDSM, Moonlight