But if I have not consent… (a poem inspired by 1 Corinthians 13:1-8)

Two lovers standing facing each other, silhouetted against sunset with the words: If I have not love... a poem inspired by 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 workthegreymatter.com

And now I will show you the most the most excellent way.

If I speak in compliments, or confessions of undying love,

but have not consent,

then my words are mere noise and intrusive.

 

If I have sexual prowess,

and know all of a person’s bodily responses,

if I can give orgasm after orgasm,

but have not consent — I’m no lover at all.

 

If I spend money on sex toys

and offer them and even my own body to another,

but have not consent — it’s an empty gesture.

 

Consensual means asking for consent with kindness

and waiting until consent is given;

consensual means no envy, no perfectionism, and no ego.

 

Consent doesn’t embarrass or push itself onto another,

doesn’t get angry if consent is withdrawn,

or bear a grudge if sex doesn’t live up to expectations;

consent doesn’t gloat at others’ harm,

but delights in free and honest negotiation.

 

Consent always acts in good faith,

always learns from mistakes,

always aims for mutual joy,

always honours boundaries.

 

Consent never fails to listen.

 

The pictures will also be available via my Facebook page.


The best and longest thing I’ve written on consent is on Ashley Easter’s blog: Sex and consent: how does that work in marriage? You can also read more by browsing my Sex Worth Celebrating and Creative works pages.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.