50 Shades of Parody: Monsieur Gaston will see you now

Portrait of Gaston in tavern from Beauty and the Beast

(This is a rip-off of the opening chapter of Fifty Shades of Grey where Ana goes to interview Christian Grey at his head officeIf you wonder why it’s so badly written in places, there’s a reason for that.)

Damn my hair. It refuses to behave as I try to brush through it. Eventually I coax it into a pony-tail because I’m an animated character and pony-tails are cheaper to draw than unkempt or loose hair. Fairy-tale France has no room for Brave.

Sulkily, I make my way to Le Pub, the town’s tavern and favourite haunt of Monsieur Gaston, the most eligible bachelor in town. I push the door open, nervously. “Hello?” I ask – like an innocent encroaching on the cavernous lair of a monstrous beast.

Except that the place smells of beer and sweat because it’s that time of the evening and half the town is there. Continue reading 50 Shades of Parody: Monsieur Gaston will see you now

EL James is Big Brother

Grey is watching you. EL James is Big Brother in 1984. Electronic surveillance is love.
I was recently reminded of 1984.

EDIT: For a while, I have debated the ethics of employing sarcastic humour at EL James’ expense – I mean, at want point does it become a mud-slinging match? Where’s the line between being a critic and a ‘hater’? In the end I thought about this response EL James gave an abuse survivor and this one to a polite request. I also loved some of the tweets she got in her Grey launch Twitter event.

The Honest 50 Shades trailer: oh so true!

For those who haven’t seen an Honest trailer before, they’re a series of satirical trailers on YouTube that (as the name suggests) are honest about a film’s or TV series’ faults. The 100th Honest trailer was – you guessed it! – 50 Shades of Grey. The humour in Honest trailers won’t be to everyone’s taste (not all of it is to mine) but for anyone with an axe of bugbears to grind, the 50 Shades trailer makes satisfying viewing. Here it is, along with 10 thoughts I had after watching it:

Continue reading The Honest 50 Shades trailer: oh so true!

50 Shades of Wannabe

I was musing about what songs or theme tunes would fit Ana and Christian and had an unexpected creative burst. You need to imagine this to the tune of the Spice Girls’ song Wannabe. At some point I’ll see if I can’t add audio and visuals, but for now, picture Ana reading the BDSM contract and singing this…  Content note: The dark streaks in this are not unintentional. I guess that’s my way of saying you might find this disturbing and not funny. And yes, it is disturbing because, well let’s face it, Christian’s behaviour is disturbing – as are Ana’s attitudes towards him and herself! Continue reading 50 Shades of Wannabe

Some anti-fanfic

In the run-up to the release of the 50 Shades of Grey film, Cosmopolitan and Wattpad teamed up, inviting people to submit their 50 Shades fanfic. Jenny Trout, however submitted some anti-fanfic into the contest (see here if you’re interested), but I’m posting this on account of An Anthropological Study of Human Romance It is wonderfully comic for those who are familiar with the books.