Lines in the sand (or: On consent and boundaries)

Navigating personal boundaries, moral boundaries and societal boundaries is a pretty complex business. And when sex is involved all the stakes get racked up. Often, this process of navigating circumstances gets called “consent”, and I believe it’s important enough and complex enough that it needs to be studied in its own right.

The posts in the categories below are generally about that.

I called this section “lines in the sand” thinking about a story in the Bible and what Jesus did when a woman who had been caught in adultery was brought to him. It’s in John’s gospel (the gospels being the accounts of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection).

According to Jesus’ religious law, adultery was a capital offence. Except that, as Jews living under Roman occupation, it would be political suicide to kill a person without appropriate Roman authority. (Also, this woman was brought to Jesus, but not the man she had supposedly been sleeping with.)

Jesus was harassed to give a verdict on what should be done with the woman. But he sat down and wrote in the sand. We don’t know what he wrote.

When pressed for an answer Jesus said that a person without sin should be the first to start stoning the woman. Of course, no one had the courage either to say they were without sin, or to incur the wrath of Rome.

 

Sex worth celebrating – About sex, consent, play and therapy

50 Shades – About the Fifty Shades trilogy and all that is so very wrong with it

BDSM – About BDSM, the scene, and consent, with a number of posts written by people in the scene

Fifty Shades compared with Beauty & the Beast – About the real meaning of redemption, literary tropes (and how they perpetrate purity culture and inequality), and everything that is wrong with 50 Shades