50 Shades of Wannabe

I was musing about what songs or theme tunes would fit Ana and Christian and had an unexpected creative burst. You need to imagine this to the tune of the Spice Girls’ song Wannabe. At some point I’ll see if I can’t add audio and visuals, but for now, picture Ana reading the BDSM contract and singing this…  Content note: The dark streaks in this are not unintentional. I guess that’s my way of saying you might find this disturbing and not funny. And yes, it is disturbing because, well let’s face it, Christian’s behaviour is disturbing – as are Ana’s attitudes towards him and herself!

[Ana]

Yo, you tell me what you want, what you really really want,
But it isn’t what I want, what I really really want!
You tell me what you want, what you really really want,
But it isn’t what I want, what I really really want!
You wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna,
You wanna really really really wanna submissive ah!

Guess I want your future, without your past
So you might have “slept” with me, others didn’t last
Now I go tasting, your pricey wine
Yes, my head’s together, we can be just fine!

Yo, you tell me what you want, what you really really want,
But it isn’t what I want, what I really really want!
You tell me what you want, what you really really want,
But it isn’t what I want, what I really really want!
You wanna… you wanna… you wanna… you wanna…
You wanna really really really wanna submissive ah!

If I wanna be your lover, I gotta lie to my friends,
Keep this saucy secret, Romance never ends!
If I wanna be your lover, I have got to give,
You take what is pleasing, no matter what that is.

What do I think about that? Now I know the full deal.
And can I handle your love? Is this for real?
You won’t be hasty, I’ll give this a try
But you’ll give me nothing if I say goodbye.

Yo, you tell me what you want, what you really really want,
But it isn’t what I want, what I really really want!
You tell me what you want, what you really really want,
But it isn’t what I want, what I really really want!
You wanna… you wanna… you wanna… you wanna…
You wanna really really really wanna submissive ah!

If I wanna be your lover, I gotta ditch all my friends,
Jealousy ain’t easy, Romance never ends!
If I wanna be your lover, you have got to give,
Making me uneasy with all your needless gifts.

[Christian]

So here’s the story from Grey, C. T.
Don’t wanna mess with me –
Or I will punish forcefully.
We got tie in its place
And eye-mask on your face
We got heat and icy, I like it when it’s
Teasingly, you won’t come for free (like a real lady)
And as for me, ah you’ll see!
Slam your body down and wind the rope around!
Slam your body down and wind the rope around!

[Ana]

If I wanna be your lover, I gotta get with your friends,
They’re all paid employees, Romance never ends!
If I wanna be your lover, I have to submit,
Counting while I’m squealing with each and every hit.

If I wanna be your lover, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,
You gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam

Slam my body down and wind the rope around (uh oh)
Slam my body down and wind the rope around
Slam my body down, and submissive ah

If I wanna be your lover.

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